The First Mother’s Day I Felt Fully Seen

What changed when I stopped hinting at my needs and started honoring them out loud.

May 12, 2025

I’ve had sweet Mother’s Days before, but this was the first one where I didn’t feel like I had to earn it.

Every Mother’s Day, I brace myself for the beautiful chaos. I’m used to the breakfast in bed that still ends with me cleaning syrup off the counter and washing dishes. The sweet cards followed by toddler tears. The “day off” that still somehow includes laundry and hearing “Mommy” every 5 minutes.

But this year? This one was different. This was the first time I felt deeply, actually cared for. Not just celebrated, but seen.

And the truth is, it didn’t happen by accident.

It started with a disagreement. One of those regular nights, getting the kids ready for bed before school the next day. Kier was on the phone with one of his frat brothers, casually planning a fishing trip. This was nothing unusual. They take them a few times a year. But I felt something rise up in me.

He had just gotten back from a week-long luxury brand trip in Bermuda. I had just wrapped solo parenting over spring break at home, managing the house, the kids, and all the physical and emotional labor that comes with both. And while I love my life, I realized I was hitting a wall. Not because I didn’t want this role, but because I hadn’t been honest about what it really requires.

Being a stay-at-home mom to a traveling content creator/influencer/Black man America is finally listening to… comes with a level of responsibility and isolation I wasn’t fully prepared for. I thought he’d travel some, but not like this. I thought I’d carry the load at home, but not like this.

So I sat on it. I let it simmer. And the next morning, I called him and said, “I really need to talk.”

I told him I was feeling forgotten. That I didn’t just need a break. That I needed time. Time to clean without chasing toddlers. Time to think without noise. Time to be by myself and with myself. Time to be with friends. And yes, time to be with him, too, but not just in the gaps between calls and brand deals.

I was ready for the argument. But what I got instead was, “Say less. I’m on my way home.”

Within 20 minutes, he was there. We talked. We planned. I booked my own trips. And just like that, something shifted.

It wasn’t that he had never cared. It’s that he needed a nudge. A mirror. A reminder that seeing me as strong didn’t mean I didn’t need softness.

And he gave it to me.

One thing he said that stuck with me was:

“Help me help you by being a fierce advocate for your own wellness. You don’t have to ask me. Just tell me what you need, and I’m there.”

That hasn’t always been the tone of our marriage. But it is now.

And if you follow Kier on Threads, you might’ve seen the post where he said one of my Mother’s Day gifts was having the house to myself while he took the kids to a hotel. Let me just pause right here to say: y’all had thoughts!!

But here’s what that post didn’t say. First, I had just come from a full spa day. Massages, facials, body scrub, saunas, hydrotherapy pools, the whole nine. And second, this new career got me the house of my dreams. And I was able to design the entire process. I mean the floorplans, finishes, and furniture choices all around the intention of feeling like a peaceful boutique hotel. It’s not just a house to me. It’s my sanctuary.

And since we moved in, I’ve never had a single day alone in it. Not one.

So to be able to light my candles, walk around naked, open a bottle of wine, and just be in this clean, quiet, safe space I dreamed up without being asked for snacks or screen time was the best gift I could’ve gotten.

Hotel? Girl, this is the hotel.

So this year, Mother’s Day wasn’t just one morning. It was a whole weekend. A spacious, thoughtful, emotionally aligned weekend where I didn’t lift a finger for anyone else.

And for once, I didn’t feel guilty about it.

Because what I’ve learned is that self-sacrifice without support is not noble. It’s just depletion. And we can’t build real love from a place of depletion.

This year, I felt poured into. And that didn’t come from a spa day or a fancy dinner (though I enjoyed both). It came from the trust that when I spoke my need, I’d be met with love, not resistance.

So thank you to my man, my man, my man.

For listening.

For growing.

For letting love be a practice, not just a performance.

This was the first Mother’s Day I felt fully seen.

And I know it’s the first of many.

xo Noémie

P.S. - What’s something you’ve needed, but never felt like you could ask for? Or a moment when someone really saw you, for real? If you feel like sharing, I’d love to hear.